The mini airhorn is the airhorn of one use...& more!
I would like to predicate this story with an insight into my history of learning the worth of a dollar. When I was 18 I spent a couple weeks living in my truck with my dog. When I was 19 I sold $80 worth of clothes for seven bucks so I could buy bread and cheese. I understand being poor. I understand being broke. This Consumer B.S. is not targeting the availability of affordable necessities when you are down on your luck.
However, enter the Dollar Store, and all other variations of the name of the store where everything is $1. Here you can find miniaturized knock-offs of basically everything. Macho aftershave, for example. But grooming items were not my target. I was looking for the junk nobody needs. Nobody. Ever. Just pure crap. And I was not disappointed.
My favorite piece of crap was a tiny air horn which listed its consumer as ages six and up, and the uses were listed like so:
I just want pose a personal-interest question here. Who hands a six-year-old an air horn? Or even thinks that’s an amusing idea? Who!? I must know!
If I could have made the list of uses it would include:
& Waxing a Chump Like a Candle
And hell yes, it’s made in China!
Would we pay $2 or even $4 for an American-made mini air horn? I really have no way to know for sure, but my gut feeling is no. A $4 mini air horn does not have the “but it’s only a buck” element. Somehow a mini air horn is a waste of money at $4, but an acceptable purchase at $1.
Wait … What?
I am having a heck of a time reconciling this impulse-purchase-justification behavior. A mini air horn is a waste of money at any price. I cannot stress this idea enough. A MINI AIR HORN IS A WASTE OF MONEY AT ANY PRICE.
However, as American consumers, we can and do assign a value to everything. Even turning a blind eye to the manufacturing operations that bring us our “it was only a buck” purchases has a monetary value. We don’t get paid to look the other way; we have to pay for the privilege of being a by-stander. But we refuse to pay very much.
Above, you will find an explanatory chart.
If you study human behavior in the context of atrocities, people are frighteningly able to willfully ignore abuses of other humans. Advancements are usually born on the backs of the lower class. Egypt’s pyramids and China’s Great Wall were built by slaves, for example.
What will the American culture leave behind as evidence that we were the greatest, most powerful society to date – a pile of Mardi Gras beads and mini airhorns?